A story is not an event in the outside world—it consists in the telling. It is only when you think that you have found a way of telling the story that you can start writing it.
When you find out who you are, you will no longer be innocent. That will be sad for others to see. All that knowledge will show on your face and change it. But sad only for others, not for yourself. You will feel you have a kind of wisdom, very mistaken, but a mistake of some power to you and so you will sadly treasure it and grow it.
—Lorrie Moore, A Gate at the Stairs
Then I can be an example of starting over